The Mysterious Bob Roberts

by Andy R Who is Bob Roberts

Bob was born in Louisanna. At the age of 2 he was abandoned by his parents and raised by the Operators of a local arcade, where he learned to speak their language and interact with other Operators of other arcades. By the age of seven he showed promise as a child prodigy and composed his first work, The Magic Fluke. (Hollywood eventually made a movie about this part of his life called "Dances with Operation Wolf's")

By the time he reached 14, he had found Mrs. Bob, and they were soon wed, which worked out for her because people could never figure out why she was called Mrs. Bob. By 21, Bob had amassed a fortune in Atari lighted pushbuttons and 1/2 ohm resistors. Had it not been for the accident in which he dropped an Electrohome G07 on his foot, he might have ruled the 1/2 ohm resistor market. But it was not to be.

5 years after his 21st birthday, Bob turned 64 years old (marriage will do that to ya) and he decided to retire. January 1st of the year 2000, Bob's business will officially be sold to the Greater Louisianna Waste Disposal Company, who is turning his business into an electrocution related theme park for criminals on death row.

(I know there are alot of years in there that I kind of glossed over, but Bob is a very humble guy and I know he didnt want me to mention anything about the time he saved the planet from starvation by inventing sliced bread, or the time he invented 'ice'. Thats just Bob...)

Andy r


I just wanted to add that by age 23 I had escaped the horrible Operators, but on my own only a few weeks I experienced my first incident that would remain with me for the rest of my days. In following this advice:

- How A Monitor Should be Discharged -

I believe the best way to discharge that monitor is to buy 300' of 10 gauge wire, strip back about 2' on one end & about 18" on the other, then wrap the 18" end onto the monitor frame... preferably through the handle portion where you pick it up... and then take the end that is stripped back 2' & run it out to your automobile, making several turns around the bumper... be sure to be in the chrome... and then, and only then, you should be able to slide a screwdriver up under the anode lead for discharge without getting a shock, but if you should get a shock anyway, then you are all set for phase 2!

Phase 2:

Insert key into automobile ignition, turn, start engine & drive away!

Monitor problem solved!


Well... after putting 10 road miles on that first monitor I was so shook up that the first time I picked up a soldering gun I gripped it so tightly that no one could pry my fingers from it & it has been a hindrance for me ever since. Of course, I have to hide it while out in public & I have to always hear the same question on the job site over & over, " How did you get that soldering gun out so fast?" or the quick quip, " I didn't see you bring your tool box in!" Anyway, the gun that has been attached to my hand for many years now is old & useless, but here's a pic of when it first happened & you can see how hard I was trying to pry it from my hand!

I guess the one good thing that came of this was that I am now one of the fastest lefties on the keyboard... the down side to this while learning was it took me 14 keyboards before I finally learned to keep my right hand/gun from trying to help out!

Bob "The Gun"

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